It's a Cat's Life

boo_n_bubba @ 2004-08-04T18:05:00

2004-08-04T23:06:31Z

There was a squirrel! On our PORCH! We almost CAUGHT it! It was very exciting!

Oh look! Shiny!

boo_n_bubba @ 2004-08-03T09:36:00

2004-08-03T14:35:29Z

Long night spent stalking wrapping paper and twist ties. The person is not grateful that we are protecting the house.

Now we sleep.

boo_n_bubba @ 2004-06-09T14:11:00

2004-06-09T19:10:42Z

What is this on the floor? It's green? It's leafy? It's not illegal?

It's CATNIP.

Yum. We love the smell of catnip. Catnip is a wonderful treat. Catnip is....

*jumps up*

*attacks one another*

*tries to eat sofa*

*attacks sofa*

*passes out*

*wakes up*

I don't know why we don't get catnip more often. It just makes us sleepy.

boo_n_bubba @ 2004-04-20T14:40:00

2004-04-20T19:41:05Z

Our poop is STINKY!

boo_n_bubba @ 2004-04-15T09:25:00

2004-04-15T14:28:03Z

We have toy, with a bell! Normally, our mother cuts the bells off our toys, and tells us that if we swallow the bells, we would walk like Captain Hook's crocodile, or maybe even die. We don't know what a crocodile is, but we don't want to die. At least not because of a bell.

But the best part is that we can play with the toy at night! And we bring to our mother's pillow, and play with it there. And it jingles! Oh, how it jingles!

boo_n_bubba @ 2004-03-18T08:29:00

2004-03-18T14:33:18Z

MiaowmiaowMIAOWMIAOWMIAOWMIAOWMIAOWMIAOWMIAOWMIAOWMIAOWMIAOWMIAOWMIAOWMIAOWMIAOWMIAOWMIAOW

This is our favorite song. We love to sing it. Especially at three in the morning. Our person is particularly happy when we sing it. When we sing it, she gives us things! She throws them just like we're on stage. Pillows, socks, whatever she has. She's very happy when we sing.

boo_n_bubba @ 2004-03-09T08:56:00

2004-03-09T14:58:54Z

We have told you before. If we do not get our fifteen hours of sleep a day, we can be grumpy. So, we are sorry we had to bite your hand, but really, you asked for it.

boo_n_bubba @ 2004-03-04T08:41:00

2004-03-04T14:44:14Z

We have a new cat bed. It is very nice and we fit in it perfectly. Not together. This means that we have to fight over who gets to sleep in it. It is particularly fun to do this at 3:00 a.m. We can really get the fur flying!

There are rules, you know.

2004-03-01T20:00:53Z

These are the rules for bedtime:

We will not officially go to bed until the person has.

We may nap before the person goes to bed, but we will not have gone to bed ourselves.

Upon the person going to bed, we will then sit at the bathroom sink at least twice, meowing loudly that someone has turned off the sink, and we cannot drink.

Upon the person getting out of bed to turn on the sink, we will then run to another room without drinking.

We will, at least three times, pick up the toy that the person has tried to induce us to play with during daylight hours, and throw it in the air. We will then bring it to the person, place it on the pillow, and gaze at it expectantly until the person throws it so we can play fetch.

Upon actual sleep, we will position ourselves against the person's hips or legs in such a way that it is impossible for her to roll over. If she attempts to roll over, we will meow loudly to remind her that we are already comfortable.

At least once during the night, we will sit on the pillow, tap the person on the face with our paw, and wait for her to lift the blanket so that we can sleep at the foot of the bed under the covers. We will then knead on her legs, and give love bites to her toes.

At no point during the night is the person actually allowed to sleep.

We know you do not care

2004-02-27T18:26:03Z

We have been told we are remiss in our posting. We have been warned to post more often, or we will not receive our salmon nummies. Oh, we will have them. Do not be mistaken.

We have not posted because we have been deeply traumatized and hurt. Our person left us at another house. We do not know why; we do not care. This is not allowed. There were other cats at this house. They dared to question our authority. THEY ATE OUR FOOD. We may have destroyed their fur toy; we are not saying for certain.

Our person did come to get us; we did not welcome her back. Clearly, she has left in the past, and cannot be trusted. We spent time under her bed and behind her shoes in the closet to teach her this.

Now we will have our nummies.

Hmmmm

2003-12-31T18:10:04Z

We seem to have acquired a tennis ball.

Friends

2003-12-31T16:56:12Z

Ah, yes. There's nothing like intellectual discourse first thing in the morning. Perhaps you should use the newspaper for more than piddling on.

Things we have learned

2003-12-19T03:25:38Z

No matter how interesting it seems, do not put your nose into the top of the humidifier. Especially not when it's on.

boo_n_bubba @ 2003-12-12T20:35:00

2003-12-13T02:36:22Z

Who wants a cookie?

New toys

2003-12-12T02:49:38Z

Mother has put up the Christmas tree. We do not know what this Christmas means, being jewish, but we do enjoy batting at the shiny balls on it. Mother yells when we do this. We know this is just her way of showing support, and we will endeavour to do it more every opportunity we get.

The trials of a single cat

2003-12-08T22:09:13Z

When we type in pussycats in the search engine, it does not achieve our goal.

We are not amused.

Our Day

2003-12-08T03:20:27Z

Today, our mother did laundry. Fortunately for us, she is lazy, and does not put away her laundry. She takes it directly out of the drier, and puts it in a basket in the closet. The clothes are still warm.

We have been napping on it for nine hours. We will have to eat soon.

Soon, but not yet.

Plans

2003-12-06T04:08:45Z

We have become aware that there are creatures present who do not wish to show us proper respect. This is a mistake.

**sharpens claws**

**practices kitty fu**

We believe we need a new fur coat. Oh yes, it will be fresh.

WELCOME

2003-12-05T22:58:34Z

Our mother has told us that we spend too much time sleeping. She does not seem to understand the importance of proper rest. So, we will spend some time here to show her what exciting busy lives we lead.

We lead a difficult life. It is very tiresome to have to remain graceful and acrobatic, while at the same time remaining vigilant for potential assault by lizards, dustbunnies, and milk carton rings. We require constant food to do so. Because of great work in protecting the home, there are always awards to be given to us. Because these may come at any time, we must bathe overselves constantly, even at the risk of hairballs and death.

Now. We have revealed too much already. We will leave now.